The Self-Confidence of a Mother

I don’t know about you, but when I became a mom the whole world as I knew it drastically shifted.
It was like entering an alternate universe where there were familiar things around me, but everything looked different.

I didn’t recognize my body – yup, that was still my face, but below it – ?????
I didn’t recognize days of the week any more, I didn’t even have a sense for what time it was.
My world was reduced to the three to four hour cycles between feedings.

I was up at night, I would sleep during the day.IMG_3794
I was disoriented as to who I was supposed to be now. Should I loose myself to this child? Should my every thought and moment be consumed with researching things about taking care of babies, feeding babies and making things for babies? I couldn’t help it at first, but beyond those first few weeks – WHO WAS I NOW?

I knew one thing…the straight A student who always had a great group of friends, always picked up new things relatively quickly and was always busy and working and involved in events and projects was GONE. Now, it seemed I couldn’t do anything right. I’d follow the instructions of one book and my baby would cry at me for hours. I would give in and nurse him to sleep and feel like a failure for raising a “spoiled” child – I was already giving into his demands at 2 weeks old! What kind of mother was I going to be? What kind of baby was I going to raise? I felt frustrated and then he would smile and I’d be amazingly happy and at peace and then a few minutes later bored and then just the thought of trying to clean something or do something had me feeling utterly exhausted.

I wanted to never let my baby out of my arms one moment and I wanted to just get away from it all the next. I felt immensely fulfilled and bored to tears all in the same day. It was confusing to say the least.

But more than just being confusing, it shook my confidence. Pregnancy and motherhood don’t just throw off your body confidence, they throw off your self-confidence entirely. Still to this day, I second guess my decisions as a mother. Am I being too strict, am I being too lenient, am I doing what’s best for my kid’s education, am I doing what’s best for their health and nutrition? There’s no way to escape parenthood without a major knock to your confidence, and that’s where I found myself when I was presented with the opportunity to be a fitness coach.

I remember asking myself – “If I can barely keep up with laundry, get in a shower and keep my kids alive without losing my sanity – how in the world am I going to be a good coach?”

I let my insecurities and perceived “failures” as a Pinterest mom to knock my confidence down so low that I didn’t think I could do something like this. I know I’m not alone, because I talk to so MANY women in my same situation. They reach out to me, desperate for help to get healthy again, to feel good again and be strong and as we talk I learn about some financial need, or how they are struggling to find time to do something for themselves and I ask them if they would be interested in coaching? The immediate response is: “I just don’t think I can handle anything more right now. I can’t be there for others – when I barely feel like I can be there for myself.”

I totally get it of course, but what I know that they don’t (yet) is how much coaching GIVES to me and how little it takes. What I know is that beneath that struggling, exhausted mom is an AMAZING woman who is capable of more than she gives herself credit for.

It saddens me to think of how many moms put themselves on the sidelines because taking a shower is such a difficult thing to accomplish so they think they are no longer capable of accomplishing anything. Let me tell you something – most days, coaching is the EASIEST thing to get done – yes, even easier than getting a shower.

Being a coach got me healthy – kept me going on my fitness journey when I wanted to give up – it GIVES me the fuel I need not just to coach, but to be the present, totally imperfect mom I want to be. It GIVES me the financial freedom to pay a babysitter for date nights and get some rejuvenating time with my husband and away from my kids. It GIVES me an identity and mission outside of my kids, it is mentally challenging and I look forward to it after 3 hours of building the same block tower and knocking it down again. It GIVES me friendships and community with ambitious, funny, sweet and amazing women – without having to leave my house or getting judged at the mom’s group for what kind of stroller I have or the snacks I give my kids (Sorry, maybe that’s just a Miami mom thing…). It GIVES me the opportunity to just care for and love on other women who were just like me, lacking confidence, energy, purpose or focus in their lives.

If you are a mom and you feel like something is missing in your life. You love your kids, but need something in the midst of the crazy you can call your own. That push to be healthier and at the same time the opportunity to bring in supplemental income – then coaching is for you. I don’t care how far your confidence has fallen, trust me – deep inside that yoga pants wearing, three days since a shower, surviving off the leftovers of your kid’s lunch heart of yours is an AMAZING, kick-ass woman who would be an INCREDIBLE coach – I believe in you.

Click here for an application for my next mentorship program or just to let me know you are curious to learn more.

 

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