When Being a Mom Gets Lonely

When Being a Mom Gets Lonely
I’ve been told that the transition from two kids to three kids is the hardest. I have a theory that it has more to do with the “type” of kid than the actual number – but it’s just a theory.

I have to say, for me the transition from zero to one was the hardest. It was hard for many reasons that I won’t get into, but one of the reasons was the unexpected loneliness.

All of a sudden I went from having co-workers to chat with during the day and evenings that could be easily spent with friends to long days with a non-speaking, barely interactive (at the beginning) baby, and evenings that had to be spent at home – either because it was so much work to find a sitter or I was just too exhausted.

I was unprepared for the loneliness. So, I decided to combat that with PLAYDATES!! Arrange all the playdates!! Every day!! All the time!!

Only problem…being a mom is STILL work…it’s not like just because I stay at home I’m not doing anything. So, I would go to playdates, only to find myself trying to keep my kids from hitting, biting, crying or getting into things and I barely got a good conversation going – leaving me exhausted and still feeling dis-connected from other adults.

It wasn’t until recently that I realized: Loneliness is PART of the call of motherhood.

This changed EVERYTHING. I can’t get away with it. I can’t fill it with playdates and MOPS groups, at the end of the day loneliness is just part of the package. Once I realized this was part of the price I paid for being a stay at home mom – along with the fact that I would forever have spit-up and poop and dirt all over me all the time and never pee in private again it kind of made my life easier.

I stopped scheduling play dates every single day of the week, started *enjoying* the quiet of being at home. Embraced the loneliness and threw myself into what I WAS called to instead of grasping for something that wasn’t really in the cards for me in this season.

I actually felt peace in the loneliness, knowing it was normal, ok and just for a season.
And when the loneliness was getting REALLY thick – I cried out to my Savior and asked my husband for a girl’s night out 🙂

Moms – if you are struggling with loneliness, know that you aren’t alone. In fact, along with sleeplessness it’s just part of the mom package, but sometimes loneliness can be a gift, pushing you closer to the Lord and to your children and husband.

This morning I raise my coffee cup to you, in the middle of cheerios on the floor and no adult conversation or playdates on the docket – I salute you mom! I pray you have a wonderfully, chaotic but sweet day! Because we all know these years are short and the loneliness will HOPEFULLY turn into deep, meaningful and rich friendships with our favorite people in the world – our kids!
Guilt Free Mocha Latte
ps- If you are looking for a delicious, healthy cup of coffee – try this, my FAVORITE recipe to enjoy a mocha latte guilt free! <3

Comments

  1. Beautifully said!! I think loneliness was one of my hardest transitions to being a mom. But I’ve also reminded myself that they’re only young now… And you’re right, it’s part of the calling. Also, I’ve found the unique stage of being home a lot has allowed me to write to a lot of kids overseas. It was a blessing I didn’t see at first. Thanks again for the encouragement. Keep up the good work!

    P.S. Those pineapple kabobs from the pdf of recipes were amazing!! Making them again this week 🙂

  2. This is by far THE most REAL, FREEING and HONEST conversation I have read or heard shared about motherhood. You have communicated ALL of my thoughts and helped free me in ways I can not explain in this comment alone. Moving forward I have found peace in sharing my journey of motherhood. I salute and celebrate you! Thank you.😊

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