This past week I fell – and in typical Vanessa fashion – I fell hard. It’s crazy how quickly I was able to slip back to my old habits. We’re talking Pizza and Ice Cream, skipping 4 days of workouts (in ONE WEEK!), listening to the doubts and fears, feeling lethargic and overwhelmed by life.
Just feeling LOST.
Can you relate? One bad thing happens and it knocks you down, and before you know it you are spinning out of control, not knowing how to stop and feeling too tired and lost to even figure it out. I compare it to getting knocked down when the waves are strong at the beach. Just as you are trying to get back up another one comes and drags you under. You aren’t drowning per-se but you can’t seem to get your footing. The longer you fight, the more exhausted you become, until you almost just want to give up.
That’s where I was this past week. I wanted to give up. I hated where I was, but felt too tired to fight my way out of it. I thought it would be too hard and frankly, didn’t know if it was even worth it to try. I felt like I should just resign myself to barely surviving the day, being short with my kids, feeling tired and yuck, and not being super kind to my husband either. I wanted something in my circumstances to change, someone to lift me out of the muck…but you know what,
no one can lift you out of a funk like that. It’s something you have to do for yourself…and it’s not as hard as you think.
This morning I just decided (that’s the first step) that I had had enough. As simple and as crazy as it sounds, you have to choose to change your life before you can go about changing it.
So I decided that things were going to change. I realized that if I could just get back to basics, the small healthy steps that when compounded turn into a healthy and happy life, I *maybe* could get back to feeling alive.
– I read my Bible – for 15 minutes (the kids interrupted me and I almost gave up, but I KNEW I needed to fight for this)
– I read a personal development book for 10 minutes (I’m currently loving The Slight Edge)
– I ate a healthy breakfast (2 scrambled eggs)
– I did devotions with my kids which ended in a beautiful worship song about God being our rock, and a shield that never fails.
– I made little healthy meal choices throughout the day – I just chose not to eat junk and to eat healthy….it’s not hard, I just have to believe that it is better for me to fill my body with healthy food, and then choose to do it.
– I reminded myself what my goals and dreams are, and worked for 1 hour to push forward toward those goals. Sure, I’m still a far way off, but I pushed forward. One step at a time.
– And I exercised. I just pushed play and did it.
It’s not hard.
What you do is who you are.
and you choose what you do.
Choose to be happy
Choose to be positive
Choose to be healthy
The limits you put on yourself, the excuses you give yourself don’t need to keep you from being happy anymore.
I don’t mean to sound harsh or cold. I’ve been there! I’ve let my old habits creep in. I’ve doubted with all my heart that I could actually change, but once I let even just a sliver of hope, a sliver of determination shine through the darkness, AMAZING THINGS HAPPENED.
So that’s what you do when you fall…you get back up.