There is Hope

Today was one of those days I wasn’t ready for. Exhaustion was hitting me hard and I just wanted a nap…I actually thought I needed a nap.

After about 2 hours of singing Dora songs and talking to his imaginary friends, I realized that for the 2nd day in a row, my son was not going to be taking a nap, and neither would I.

The anger that welled up in my heart was intense. I cared for and dealt with my sweet, but very sinful and demanding two year old for 13+ hours a day, and all I wanted was a 30 minute nap.

Now, not only did I not get my nap, but my wonderful son would be going through the rest of the day in rare form, due to being exhausted.

I didn’t even feel like I could deal with happy, normal Samuel… How was I going to be with cranky, tired Samuel?

The answer, once again, was filled with anger and despair.
He threw hard objects at his sister, peed all over me, and screamed in anger when things did not go his way.
No matter how many times I patiently spoke to him and disciplined, his response to me was as if I had done nothing! He’d ask for juice or go back to the very thing I just spanked him for.

Finally, after an early bedtime, hope came from Romans 12:12:

Rejoice in hope
(what?! I have hope? Oh, that’s right, the assurance of things unseen, yet to come…like obedience in my son)

Be patient in tribulation
(patience Vanessa, you are 2 years in to an 18+ year project!)

Be constant in prayer
(prayer? Oh ya, God is here too…why do I keep hitting my head against a brick wall when I could be praying to my heavenly Father?!)

These three lines spoke what my tired, discouraged, heavy heart needed to hear.
There is hope, be patient and pray.


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